A few months ago Nancy and I had the genuine pleasure of going car shopping. In the light of that glorious experience I found myself thinking about the subject of "the selling of The Good News." You know, that might be a darn good name for a daily newspaper - The Good News. Of course, then what would you print?
In the 'spirit' of the times, I have identified seven different gospel pitches that are being used in the marketplace today (that's salesman talk for gospel presentations). I'm sure you've heard of 'marketplace ministry'. In line with that thought; I have come up with what I believe to be an excellent marketing slogan for some future evangelistic campaigns. I have used this slogan in conjunction with the seven most popular gospels being preached today. The slogan is:
There may be other gospels being presented today that I have missed, but these seem to be the strongest and best closes - (that's salesman talk for making the sale or closing the deal or getting a buying decision). Although seven IS the number of completeness, if perhaps you should come up with any I have missed, and I doubt that you can, please do not hesitate to e-mail them to me.
Fear Close: Are you afraid of death? Do you want to go to hell and burn and scream forever and ever?! Do you cringe at the thought of spending eternity with Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Ted Bundy, Richard Speck, all of the Hells Angels and Homer Simpson? If so, then boy do I have good news for you!
Guilt Close: You know you've done bad things in your life, don't you?! - things for which you are ashamed. Have you hurt people in the past? Ever had a naughty thought? Bent the rules? Lied? Did you ever STEAL A POST IT NOTE FROM WORK - maybe even cheated on your Taxes? Do you know you are a sinner and that God's gonna' pay you back someday?! Did you know that the payment for sin is DEATH!! If that sounds like bad news to you then, boy do I have good news for you!
Kings Kid Close: Are you poor? Having trouble making ends meet? Unhappy? Stuck in a rut? Middleclass? Are you driving a used car, a minivan or perhaps a Geo!? Are you living your dreams? Are you worried about the future? Do you find yourself thinking, 'Is this all there is'? How's your 401-K? Since you only have one, 'Do you want your best life now?!' Are you rich? If you answered yes to any of these questions, boy do I have good news for you!
The Insurance Close: If you're a dirty rotten stinkin' sinner under an eternal sentence of death and hell and you know that someday God is going to fry you like a piece of bacon in a hot greased skillet - then, boy do I have good news for you!
Intellectual Close: Would you like to learn secrets that have been hidden from the foundation of the world - ancient truths which only a predestined few are privileged to understand (I'm a Calvinist)? Would you like to outlive your friends, family and all your associates? How about the opportunity to become a respected member of an tightly knit and exclusive community? Would you like to become a Bible scholar? Maybe even an Usher! Even earn a Thd?! If this appeals to you, then boy do I have good news for you!
Social Close: Are you lost? Lonely or new in town? Do you miss your family? Would you like a chance to meet some new and exciting people? Are you looking for a place to belong? To make new friends? Would you like to learn to sing in a choir? Work in a nursery? Maybe even park cars? Do you need something to do on Sundays? Do you enjoy 'ever learning'? Do you like drama or music and the arts? AIR CONDITIONING?!! How about Starbucks coffee! Do you like donuts? (that's for my unsaved policeman friends). Would you like to learn to dance? If your answer is yes to any of the above then, boy do I have good news for you!
Well that's my seven. I have to admit that over time I had bought into every one of these paradigms - some more than once! A few kept me at the altar almost every week! Then it happened! I finally heard "the gospel" (the key word here is heard) - The REAL GENUINE good news of God in Jesus Christ and I learned that I could become a new person, a new creation - as a result of what Jesus did for me on that cross!
Now, the old George is dead. Hallelujah.!!! However, I may still have some of his jaded sense of humor - but I'm getting better! Hey, thanks for logging on and by the way, if you're offended then I really am sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I just couldn't help myself. But please, be patient with me - God isn't through with me yet!
As the saying goes, "This temple is still under construction"!
One last thing - Boy have I got good news for you!
George Dunn, that is - (family joke).